


The News Reports of 1807, Censored and Unbiased

by WeeklyReportWithJamesCheetham



Category: 19th Century CE RPF
Genre: Am just... testing thy waters, Callaham News is a newspaper company owned by Cheetham and Callender, I could've written this in a ruder manner but I didn't, It should've existed irl tbh, Pretend that some newbie at their company wrote it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-27 02:16:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13870965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeeklyReportWithJamesCheetham/pseuds/WeeklyReportWithJamesCheetham
Summary: It’s morning in America and General Wilkinson banged Colonel Burr on the prosecution table. President Jefferson has yet to respond and Marshall has no comment.





	The News Reports of 1807, Censored and Unbiased

VIRGINIA 1807——

We have received word from Richmond this morning claiming that Col. Aaron Burr and Gen. James Wilkinson had been found performing a strange form of intercourse over the prosecution bench. 

Mr. George Hay reported earlier today that he had entered the darkened room to find “the Defendant lying over the top of the table with the General’s [word deleted] in his mouth,” before the two of them rolled over onto the floor in apparent embarrassment. He also claims to have been with Mr. Edmund Randolph at the time, who is currently refusing to answer our questions on the matter.

We were unfortunately unable to get any more information out of Mr. Hay, who, upon our continuous questioning, had chosen to avoid us by feigning deafness. However, an anonymous source has given us enough information to believe that Misters Hay, Randolph, and Marshall were all involved in this act of heresy.

Meanwhile, President Jefferson has yet to say anything about this incident, as well as the sum of money that he had spent reportedly bribing witnesses for the prosecution. Our sources have yet to discover what the meaning behind this is, but our team of valid reporters can guarantee that this group of people aren’t up to any good. Colonel Burr has a history a performing such actions on other men, and it is best that the President does whatever he can to keep this vile traitor under lock and key.

CALLAHAM NEWS


End file.
